A couple of blogs ago, I talked about how it’s hard for me to deal with those who cross my personal boundaries even though its for a good reason that those specific boundaries needed to be crossed. However, there is also something that has been a lifelong battle with myself that I’m pretty sure some of you are familiar with: keeping your emotions bottled up around others.
Yes, I do keep my emotions bottled up because there are times where I want to express my feelings in an angry matter, but I fear of upsetting the other party. This is especially true with dealing with those that have developmental differences. But the fact is that keeping our emotions bottled up does more harm than good.
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A prime example of a character who kept her emotions bottled up was Starlight Glimmer in the “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” Season 7 episode, “All Bottled Up.” In the episode, Starlight’s friend, Trixie Lulamoon, is being careless and inconsiderate to Starlight which results in Trixie accidentally teleporting the Friendship map from Twilight Sparkle’s Friendship Castle.
In an effort to keep herself from upsetting Trixie with her feelings, Starlight uses a spell to bottle up her anger (representing by a red cloud) and when the bottle breaks and infects three other ponies, it is only then that Starlight finally vents to Trixie, Trixie doesn’t get upset, but is more unaware of the fact that her actions were upsetting Starlight in the first place.
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Of course, this was an issue that I struggled with a lot during my 14 years at my day job at Stop and Shop Supermarkets where I had to deal with some colleagues that have developmental differences and have no understanding of the boundaries or feelings of others.
When I did vent my anger, the individual became upset and I did feel bad, but at the same time, I had a job to do and needed to focus on it. The same could also be said for some of the managers too, as I was usually asked to do too much of what was expected of me. But that was a time where I couldn’t vent my anger because that would be considered insubordination.
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Fast forward to present day, I mentioned in Blog #448 of how my psychologist has a tendency to cross my boundaries for my personal mental health even though I don’t want her to. Same goes for my folks, as hard as it is. The trouble is that I can’t express my feelings without causing collateral damage and sometimes, it can be hard to speak the truth.
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The same was also said with Starlight Glimmer…after all, she was a character who cloaked her true emotions into becoming a dictator of a village where everypony’s cutie mark was the same: an equal sign. It wasn’t until after she tried to change the course of history in the Season 5 Finale, “The Cutie Remark,” did Twilight manage to get her to open up her feelings of why Starlight became the way she did.
This can also serve as an example for when neurodivergent individuals try to mask their emotions. When we mask our emotions, we also bottled up our feelings like what Starlight Glimmer did. There is always going to be that fear that words can hurt and sometimes, they do.
However, when all is said and done, it’s probably the healthiest option for both parties if the emotions don’t bottle up.
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Catch you all later!!
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