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From time to time, you may see me repeat past blogs concerning various issues and one of those issues that I feel people around me struggle with is the fact that people should just mind their own business and not stick their noses into my personal life.
Yesterday, my psychologist decided to peck her nose into one of my personal matters that I try to keep under lock and key and I came out of the meeting feeling somewhat violated that my personal boundaries were crossed. My folks have also been guilty many times in the past of crossing my boundaries without my consent because they feel it’s their job or their right.
I get that parents and professionals such as therapists feel that it is their job to peck their noses into the business of others and as a neurodivergent, I feel that the more that they do it, the more defensive and protective I get. I mean, I get that we get into the business of others because we are either curious, caring or we feel that it is our right.
At my former day job, I had a colleague who wanted to stick his nose where it didn’t belong and the more he tried, the more annoyed I grew with him. What’s more difficult is that I couldn’t assert myself without getting him upset which made the situation more stressful and ultimately became part of the reason why I left my day job last month after 14 years.
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If you have known me for a long time, you might have already learned that I am one of those “stay in my lane” kind of people. It’s like being on a freeway and you have a car that wants to cross over into your lane. I will admit that I have been in the category that I would cross into other people’s lanes.
But one thing I learned is that when you cross into other people’s lanes, it doesn’t make you feel good…it makes you feel like a complete idiot. This is especially true when it comes to social and mainstream media when I see people stick their noses where they don’t belong because they have a sense of entitlement or privilege.
It’s also that some feel that being nosy is part of their DNA which is a dirty shame to an extent. The sad thing is that we can’t always hide our personal lives these days because someone will just easily find out about it and share it with others.
Now when it comes to my psychologist, she has been known to cross my personal boundaries many times because she feels that its part of her job.
The problem is though she doesn’t ask me if we can talk about certain issues that bother me. Maybe it’s because of the fact that therapists don’t need to be held on a leash the same way that parents can. In fact, there are times I dread going into therapy because I’m basically a can of worms that need to be opened up or I sometimes struggle with going into a conversation with extended family because they are going to ask questions that cross my boundaries.
Yes, as a neurodivergent, I do have barriers that are around me and will only take down if people ask me or if I feel like it. I also feel that sometimes people should just walk a mile in my shoes and they can see how I feel when they stick their nose into my matters. Believe me, I’ve had to walk a mile in the shoes of others and I’ve gained somewhat of a respect for them, so why not with someone like me?
Only time will tell…
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Catch you all later!!
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