It seems to me that this next blog comes at a very appropriate time with the Christmas and the other religious winter holidays upon us. Depending on what you are celebrating, chances are that you will more than likely be at a house of worship during this period to celebrate the true meaning of each holiday.
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However, when it comes to neurodivergent individuals and families, this time of year is already stressful enough as it is. Attending Christmas Eve mass yesterday, of course I noticed that there were a lot of families and a lot of little kids being fidgety. For anyone who is neurodivergent, this is just another stress adder to an already stressful situation.
And it’s not just the winter holidays like Christmas and Hannukah, but its also Easter and Passover as well as those who are regular church goers and God fearers. To some people, being in a house of worship is being part of a community and as we all know, being forced into social situations while neurodivergent is a nightmare onto itself.
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But the key here is for all places of worship to get a sense of understanding that whoever you believe in, the ones who we believe in will do whatever takes to make their follower’s visits as accommodating and as easy as possible.
Now being a Roman Catholic myself, I partake in a lot of rituals during mass such as standing, sitting, kneeling as well as doing “signs of the cross” and participating in the eucharist. To someone who is neurodivergent, it can take a long time to process what is happening, particularly when the mass goes at a record pace. There are going to be some neurodivergents who are delayed in thinking that may process what is happening around them.
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LaWanda Page as the Godfearing Aunt Esther on “Sanford and Son” serves an example of someone who is very chuchgoing.
Being that we are now in a new religious year in my faith, this blog comes at a good time for houses of worship to consider minding those who are in a house of worship but are confused on what to do during the period of worship.
Now there are two different options to consider for neurodivergent families here: the first being is to reach out to your local preacher such as a priest, deacon, vicar, rabbi, etc. and having the preacher help the individual when to sit, stand, kneel, etc. This is extremely helpful if the family and the preacher is highly connected on a sociable or on a personal level. It also helps to remember that depending on where you worship, you don’t have to go to worship on that specific day.
For Roman Catholics like myself, as an example, it’s usually Sunday that we worship, but for a lot of people, people don’t always go to mass on Sundays and they go on a different day, whether it’s Saturday or one of the daily masses. I find this to be a strong advantage for families as attending worships not on a Sunday could help the individual prepare for Sunday mass by attending Saturday or daily masses. There, they can be taught when to sit, stand, kneel, etc. in preparation for Sunday mass.
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The other option is attending your place of worship virtually although I feel that it is not the same as being in person. While worshipping virtually has its advantages, you cannot partake in various rituals such as giving your fellow parishioner the “sign of peace” or participate in holy communion. While priests and eucharistic ministers would be happy to give you the body and blood of our master, they can’t give it to you through the television screen, I’m afraid.
However, families can participate in holy communion by having their own box of communion wafers in their home and when the time comes for holy communion, the parent/caregiver can distribute the holy communion.
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Now, it isn’t just mass or other worship services to consider here. There are also weddings, funerals, christenings/baptisms, first communions, confirmations, etc. and attending regular worship will help neurodivergent families also prepare for what happens when we have to partake in the other types of services. I’ve actually already created two presentations about supporting neurodivergents during weddings and funerals that I hope to present at a later date.
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In conclusion, we all want to feel included in whoever we believe in, but the key figures we worship all have a tendency to show a hint of flexibility, even though some of us may not believe that. The key religious figures understand fully that times of worship are difficult for neurodivergent families and they would encourage you to worship them at your own pace whether it would be at your home or in their home.
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Catch you all later and again, happy holidays!!
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