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As December is officially upon us, I want to once again devote now until Christmas to some of the pains of the Christmas holidays for neurodivergent individuals. While the holiday season as a whole is important to some people, it isn’t important for everyone for a variety of reasons. Each blog between now and Christmas will devote to offering solutions for supporting neurodivergent individuals during the holidays.
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One idea would be to have the neurodivergent child individually photographed and then have them added to the real photo later.
For the first blog, I want to talk about something that would always drive me nuts growing up as a kid and that’s posing for photos to be put on Christmas Cards.
Now, I get the reasoning behind creating Christmas card photos as those who create them want to show extended family and friends how far the family has grown. But the problem is that families who do Christmas Card photos fail to understand that having a camera shoved in your face is bad both psychologically and mentally as a whole.
To some families, they can’t wait for a full year to get their Christmas cards made up. You might say that it is a tradition that they hope will never break and consider sacred, regardless of what people think or feel.
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When it comes to neurodivergent individuals, there are some who enjoy having their pictures taken and there are others who don’t. The fact of the matter is that families need to understand that not everyone is going to want their photos taken for a Christmas card. It can be invasive and bothersome to the individual. The problem is that Christmas cards can turn into an obsession to the point where all other feelings are ignored.
You might also argue that posing for Christmas cards are a part of being in the family, no ifs ands or buts.
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The truth of the matter is that there is a mental health side to anyone who takes Christmas Card Photos. If the child refuses to take part in the photos, then as hard as it is, the family needs to respect the boundaries of the child. Some of you reading this might protest that the child needs to suck it up and get through the process, throwing in a bribe/reward as well.
Part of it is that the child has a hard time speaking up about their feelings because there is that part of the mind who isn’t fully developed to the point where feelings can be self expressed.
If you really want the child to be part of the photos, then families need to take this one step at time such as:
Give the child or loved one advanced notice about the photo shoot
Use social stories to explain why we take Christmas/Holiday card photos
Have the child meet with the photographer who will be conducting the photo shoot.
NEVER sacrifice someone’s mental health for the sake of the Christmas card’s overall perfection. Remember, there is a human being with feelings in those Christmas Card photos who might be bothered by the camera and the activity.
If the child doesn’t want to smile, DO NOT force them to smile.
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Finally, like all the other areas I will be covering this month, Christmas Card Photos are NOT what the holidays are about. At the end of the day, not everyone is going to care about how people have looked and grown throughout the past year, even though again, it’s important to some families.
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Catch you all later!!
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