As we wrap up the 2022-2023 school year, there is another activity that I have come to view as a rite of passage if you will…the time where young men don suits and tuxedos while young women were elegant dresses and gowns, shedding any appearance of adolescence.
I am of course referring to the senior prom, which is not just any school dance. When I went to my senior prom in 2007, I thought of it as more than just a school dance. To me, the senior prom at Lake Pearl in Wrentham, MA was a signification that the life as I knew it was going to end. All of us in the class of 2007 were preparing to move on from the walls of Seekonk High School to college, the workforce or the military.
For anyone who is neurodiverse or has special needs, the prom is a sacred ritual that can be easier said than done. Just the idea of wearing sensory provoking clothing and having a camera shoved into your face is enough to make you cringe, also the feeling of being pressured to stay for the whole event or even being pressured to do something you don’t want to do such as drinking alcohol is enough to drive up anxiety.
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Take it from me, I was originally planning to attend my junior prom in 2006, but backed out because not only was it going to be stressful for me, but also, it just wasn’t my time yet. From my point of view, junior proms are optional, but senior proms are a must. You don’t have to stay for the whole event, you can stay for an hour, a half hour, however long it takes for your mental health.
Another factor about proms is that they are sensory provoking, given the fact that there is loud music, loud conversation that involves cheering and screaming. The fact is that you don’t have to be involved. If you want to, ask to sit at a quiet area of the hall or even bring headphones and I-Pods with your favorite music on it.
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Remember also that you are not alone in terms of going to the prom or have the same tastes as others. Some may prefer the stretch limos or group buses, but for me and my prom date, we had my dad drive us to and from the prom (although he had to wear a nose and glasses). It also helps as well to maybe have your teacher drive you to and from the prom as well. At least, you know that you have someone who understands you and knows you always there for you when the time comes.
It also helps for the parents to be in the area not far from the prom. An example would be that when I had my senior supper in the fall of 2006, my folks were in the area and they picked me up when I felt like I had enough.
Not too long ago, I created a presentation called “School Dances and Autism” that is geared towards helping neurodiverse students enjoy school dances. Parents and Teachers can look at this presentation and sort of gain ideas and inspiration to help students deal with the anxieties of going to a school dance:
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Look for more of these end of the year blogs throughout the month of May and June as this current school year moves closer and closer to the finish line!!
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Catch all of you later!!
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