Well, it happened again. Easter Sunday 2023 ended with a sensory overload because there was and is so much going on in my personal and professional life right now. Not that all of it is bad, of course.
This week, in addition to my day job and teaching my weekly class, I also had a meeting with the Department of Developmental Services on Friday regarding the future, getting ready to head out to San Diego for Autism Tree’s VIP Cocktail Reception Wednesday night and on top of that, I got pirated again in my bank account.
Oh, and on top of that, my mother was very overbearing on me yesterday, having me try on shoes (which I will write more about in a later blog about how it’s bothersome to me) and constantly asking me questions. When all was said and done, I broke down crying when I got into my apartment because I was so overwhelmed.
…
I get the fact that I have a responsibility to keep as an independent business owner and public speaker, but there are going to be times where I will have meltdowns and that I need to ask myself how I can cut down on the stack that is piling up for me. I mean, I’ll be honest, making decisions is tough and my autism sometimes makes those ten times more difficult than it should.
In fact, part of the reason why I stopped attending comic and fan conventions (as well as leaving the Brony Fandom) was because it was too much sometimes for me to take in. Yes, I’m a people pleaser and I want to be involved as much as I can, but doing everything is impossible for one’s mental health. I don’t need the drama that goes on in those communities because how can I adapt to their ever-growing environments?
…
Now, I get the fact that sometimes things stack up because it’s just the nature of something or someone such as a job or an overbearing person. What some families, educators and employers fail to understand that when you are stacking up things for someone, you are making them suspectable to a panic attack or sensory overload. I will admit that I have been guilty of this in the past myself and I don’t even know I am doing it until it is too late.
Think of stacking things up as like trying to load baggage onto an airplane, you don’t want the plane to be overloaded and if you do overload it, it’s going to crash. If I get overloaded like I did last night, I emotionally crash like an airplane because my mind was too heavy with so many things happening at once.
…
As for an example of what happens when things stack up with deadly consequences was Jim Henson, because he poured so much on his plate that it began to affect his health. He didn’t put his priorities straight and instead kept stacking up his schedule to the point where he ended up dying from bacterial pneumonia in 1990.
…
And it’s not just Jim Henson, but there were others whose health got affected because they stacked themselves too high. In fact, Walt Disney himself died in 1966 because he smoked to cope with the growing stackings of his business. It goes to show you that just because you have fame and fortune and will work yourselves to the bone, you will be subjected to mental and physical health breakdowns because your stack is too high.
…
That’s to say that I will not end up like Jim Henson or Walt Disney…I try not to be, but it is hard sometimes to speak up for myself. If something is upsetting me, I don’t say anything on account that I don’t want to upset anyone else (like my mom, for example). Yes, even if I say that I don’t mask my emotions anymore, I still do and sometimes it will come back to bite me like it did on Easter Sunday.
…
Catch you all later!!
Comments