Well, it’s that time of year again…the holidays for 2022 have arrived and we are all in the process of closing out 2022 and making way for 2023. Now, this means we are beginning part 1 of a two part process, with Part 1 being Thanksgiving and Part 2 being whatever holiday you celebrate depending on your beliefs.
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Now, as we enter Thanksgiving, I know what you are probably thinking: that there is so much to do such as gathering food, travelling by air, land or sea to see relatives and trying to figure out what we are thankful for in our lives.
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Of course, this is a very common behavior that is displayed around thanksgiving in which some handle it and there are some that don’t handle it better than others, sadly. When it comes to individuals with neurodiverse or other disabilities, the thanksgiving holiday is a walking sensory overload just waiting to happen.
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Take it from me, when I was growing up, thanksgiving was a big deal mostly consisting of myself, my family and my mother’s family. Now, when you have parents that come from large families, you are bound to get some overstimulation in some way.
Being forced to do things you don’t want to do such as forced interaction with people you don’t want to talk to; eating foods that you otherwise don’t eat and having your routines disrupted is enough to also cause meltdowns or sensory overloads.
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Now, as an adult, I look at thanksgiving from a totally different view judging from working in a grocery store and when I was in school, dealing with Spirit Week activities.
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For part 1, I want to cover the events leading up to Thanksgiving itself. These range from Spirit Week to working in the grocery industry to travelling during the holiday week.
To begin with, for example, Thanksgiving is the busiest holiday for the grocery industry, edging out the Christmas and New Year’s holidays by a whisker. These tips are valuable in trying to reduce the stress and anxiety of the anticipation of the Thanksgiving holiday.
Tip 1:
Seekonk High School 2019 Spirit Week
At school, always provide an escape plan for the student if things get too overwhelming
I’m going to be going back to some familiar territory here, but usually the days leading up to thanksgiving are very stressful for neurodiverse students. Being in a loud and crazy environment for six hours every day is stressful enough, but when the school hosts spirit week activities, the level goes through the roof.
Some of these can range from loud lunches where teachers are dunked for a good cause for example, which mostly happens when the student is in Middle School to being in the gym to watch spirit week activities. Honestly, who would not want to be in a different environment that is not overstimulating?
I remember throughout high school, the only time that the entire school would come together was during Homecoming and Spirit Week. The sounds of screaming and yelling coupled with the high school playing music was at times too much for me to handle. If I wasn’t wearing a mental mask, then I would have had more than one meltdown, that’s for sure.
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But teachers will often view this as the students way of missing out the fun of the activities and other students will call the neurodiverse student out for being a party pooper or a wet hen for example.
This is a result of false judgment because the student wants to show his or her spirit, but in their own way and in their own environment. Schools should embrace the idea of maybe having the Spirit Week Assemblies be livestreamed on Zoom to give the student the option of showing their school spirit without being overstimulated.
Other alternatives such as going to the library, main office or even to the student’s homebase classroom are just a few ideas. One particular olive branch was extended to me freshman year where I got to skip day 1 of the Spirit Week assemblies to visit my dentist who was preparing to retire.
If you want a visual example of an escape, check out this clip below:
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Tip 2:
When it comes to working during thanksgiving, especially for those in the grocery industry, I can say that I have had my fair shares of being overstimulated in my day job. As I have said before, I am constantly overstimulated working in the grocery industry. The noise, the fact of dealing with coworkers that shouldn’t even be working, the fact that there are difficult customers and families and finally, the higher up visits that are completely unnecessary and awkward.
More than likely, you will be asked to work thanksgiving and Christmas weeks in the Grocery Industry. But when it comes to working those weeks, particularly thanksgiving, you would much rather be in somewhere else.
But if I could give you a real piece of advice, is that it’s a good idea to always “stay in your own lane.” Not the “stay in your lane” that makes you rude and unhelpful to customers. Just do what you can and if multiple people ask you to help them while you are in the middle of doing something else, then they need to wait until you are done with the task that is in front of you.
If your colleagues are crazy about company visits and they want to drag you into their stress zones, you have to remember to yourself that meeting a company employee or higher up is no different than meeting a normal person. Maybe your colleagues want to make themselves look good for the company guest by ensuring things are completely perfect. But I know from being in the retail industry for over 15 years that NOTHING will ever be perfect, especially in a customer service or retail environment.
Yes, it’s the nature of the business, but it’s an unnecessary nature from my point of view.
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Tip 3:
Autism Tree’s Blue Horizons Program in San Diego, CA
Now, there may be some of you who will avoid tips 1 and 2 because you are travelling for the Thanksgiving holidays. These can range from being in the air, to being on the ground, to being out on the water. Being able to travel for thanksgiving is fun and exciting, but it can also be downright stressful, especially if you are going to be around people that are stressed out unnecessarily.
It helps to at least know what you are going to expect in the travel portion of the Thanksgiving holiday. If you are travelling, it’s a good idea to sit down with your neurodiverse child or loved one and go over what is going to be happening. For example, if you are travelling by air, you can share your travel itinerary with your child or loved one so they know what to expect. Practice the check in process at the airport and then practice going through airport security.
If your child is part of a group or autism organization, perhaps suggest to the organization to have a sort of airport simulation drill. For example, Autism Tree in San Diego, CA holds what is known as a Blue Horizons event that simulates the airport experience for San Diego based families.
However, if you want something that is more national, the Arc of America has what is known as “Wings for All” that also does airport process simulations.
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All in all, the importance is to keep things as normal as possible for the neurodiverse individual or child. Remember any stress can lead to meltdowns that would otherwise ruin the experience, not just for the individual, but for everyone around them.
Join me in Part 2 as I discuss how to make the actual Thanksgiving Day itself easy for neurodiverse individuals.
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Catch you all later!!
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