52106915 – father and son doing grocery shopping at the supermarket
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If you have been following this blog since the very beginning in May 2021, you may have seen me do blogs about working in the grocery store as a day job while I grow “Going the Distance” even further.
But I am once again revisiting this topic after a sensory overloading kind of day today. Now, you might be wondering why I am still working at a grocery store as a day job when it’s overstimulating and sensory overloading.
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Well, aside from the flexibility it gives me in running a business like “Going the Distance,” working in the grocery industry gives me the chance to interact with people, build connections and develop my work skills. But as many of you know in recent months and especially all of last year, I had strongly considered leaving the grocery industry for mental health reasons and the simple reason that I might just be too good for the position I am in.
Now of course there is a lot that goes into a grocery store: the constant advertising, the often-forced human interaction and the fact that you are in the middle of doing one activity only to get forcefully pulled to the next one. Then there is also the matter of noise that goes on around me. People talking, parents reprimanding their children, running around like crazy, need I go on?
Every one of these moments drives up my anxiety, gives me headaches and makes my brain spin around like a tornado. Yes, I am wearing a mask when I am on the job, but when I am not working, you will see me wearing headphones listening to my iPod. For those of you who approach me while I am wearing headphones listening to music, please remember that I am not being rude, I’m just trying to prevent myself from having an overload/meltdown.
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Now let’s use another character I featured in a previous blog, Psyduck from “Pokemon.” I mentioned that Psyduck displays traits of autism because he is always holding his head and getting headaches.
In a way, I kind of feel like Psyduck at times. He doesn’t deserve to be in the situation he is sometimes forced into it because the moment calls for it.
Still, he deserves to be in a better position where people treat him with a deeper respect and admiration for who he is. Misty (from the Anime) and Lucy (Detective Pikachu) are two examples of who Psyduck should or should not be with:
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The truth of the matter is that again, while my day job provides me some financial income on a weekly basis, I have to often continue asking myself, “Is it really worth putting myself at risk to endure sensory overloads or overstimulation’s just to make a living?”
Working with the public in my line of work is at times very demanding both on the company side and the customer side. At times, again, it can also be very annoying when it comes to higher up visits. That right there is unnecessary in itself. Why would you want to put yourself at risk of a possible meltdown at work on account of someone that is no different than yourself?
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In a way, being a grocery store for anyone on the autism spectrum is a hell in itself. Sure, working in one gives you something to do and eventually you do learn coping skills to help you get through the work shift. But what happens when even that is not enough? All these are questions that both the individual and the individual’s support system ask at times on a daily basis.
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As of writing this blog, I am once again looking at opportunities that allow me to utilize my talents as a whole. I’m even possibly looking at giving captioning a try since it goes well with my mission as a self-advocate/public speaker. Who knows? The possibilities are endless!
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Catch you all later!!
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