On September 8th, 2022, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom passed away at the age of 96.
As the mourning continues until September 19th with the Queen’s funeral, it’s important to acknowledge that the whole United Kingdom, not just England, Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland, will be going through some difficult transitioning that may be difficult on those who are neurodiverse and who have come to respect the Queen for what she is.
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First of all, it’s important to remember that Queen Elizabeth II sat on the throne for 70 years, yes, 70 years. For many of us, including my generation, Elizabeth II was the only Queen of the United Kingdom that we ever really knew. You might ask yourself, what happens now?
Well, the Queen’s death means that there is a new king, Charles III, whom we are familiar with somewhat, but not in the position of monarch. For my followers in the commonwealth of the United Kingdom, I can understand your anxieties because many of us in the community don’t take change very well.
Even I felt a sense of sadness when the Queen passed away on Thursday, partly because when I went to England in 2012 for a cousin’s wedding, we stayed just down the street from Buckingham Palace and I considered her a neighbor although a temporary neighbor.
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Transitioning is hard for anybody whether it’s moving into a new home or having new people around us. Yes, I know for a fact that Queen Elizabeth II is a legend, but she is not an immortal God. The laws of nature dictate that humans cannot live forever, no matter how hard we want to deny the possibility.
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For some of us in the neurodiversity community, you might be asking yourself now that the queen has passed on, “are my feelings validated?”
The answer to that question is yes, your feelings are validated. You have a right to be sad for the loss of someone as beloved as Queen Elizabeth II, whether you liked her or not.
Some of us have a very strong fixation on the Queen and the Royal Family as a whole and a life without Queen Elizabeth is just unthinkable. Losing her is like losing a member of our own family because we have known her for so long. To this end, if you are neurodiverse and are trying to figure out how to cope with the death of her royal majesty, here are some tips.
A. Know That Things are Going to Be Changing:
Bereavement can have a profound effect on the relationship you share with those around you, and may pose challenges for those bonds.
According to Dr Audrey Tang, a chartered psychologist, wellness expert and author of The Leaders Guide to Resilience, points out family bonds can change dramatically when a loved one dies.
B. Accept that You Cannot Grieve the Same Way as the Rest of Your Family:
When loss is so fresh, it can be unthinkable to find positivity. Collins explains that it may feel tricky to look back and remember happy times now, but it will become possible.
In many ways, neurodiverse individuals are very prone to mourning in their own private ways, so if you are trying to force your loved one to mourn the same as you, it is very damaging.
Given that Queen Elizabeth II was loved around the world for example, many of us will want to watch the funeral on Monday September 19th, but for others, we might be watching many of the documentaries about her because it’s how we mourn.
C. Don’t Ever Feel Like You Need to Put on a Brave Face
Everyone who loved the person who has passed away is experiencing something really challenging, so take some time to support one another and talk about your grief.
“Remember that loss is a difficult conversation, and it is likely that the listener will take their cues from you as to how best to respond. But if they are reacting in a way that surprises you, don’t be afraid to say something like, ‘I just need someone to listen’,” says Dr Tang.
This is a really important step because it’s basically telling you to NOT PUT ON A MASK. Many neurodiverse individuals will put on a mask to hide their emotions and it will end up doing more harm than good given that it is an emotional period of time and emotions will stack up and cause a possible meltdown, panic attack or sensory overload.
D. Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Professional Help
There may come a point where you feel the grief will never pass and you need some external help. A therapist or a licensed medical professional is trained to help you with your feelings and emotions when it comes to a sudden transition or death in the family.
For many neurodiverse individuals, the prospect of seeking help can be difficult because for many of us, we struggle to share our emotions about the situation.
If you want to learn more about what is said here, check out this article about how to cope with the Queen’s Death:
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However, if there is one thing that we have to take into account is to give King Charles III a chance. Sure, he may not be like on the level of his mother, but Charles is already making good on his new position and that this is a transition for him, too. Try and put yourself in his shoes or the shoes of the other members of the royal family even though some of them are not very well liked.
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Queen Elizabeth’s passing is something that not only neurodiverse individuals can learn from, but neurotypical individuals as well. It may be a fact of life, but death and transitioning are two of the hardest lessons we will ever have to learn in life. But the important thing is that we don’t have to learn this alone and that’s what we are experiencing right now in the United Kingdom and around the world.
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Catch you all later!!
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