I think that the picture says it all: it is very common to be angry with a higher power asking them why they would do such a thing such as taking away someone while they are young and in their prime.
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As a neurodiverse Catholic, I know for a fact that I have been angry with the higher power many times. But none more so than the events of recent with the passing of David Sharif. It’s been a week since he was silently taken away and while I have started to slowly recover from his death, part of me still has that anger towards the higher power, asking myself why he would do such a thing?
Sometimes, we may never get the answers we so desperately want and that is a sign that perhaps we can’t just dwell on the higher power’s actions forever.
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Case in point?
When my maternal step-grandfather died in 1987 of cancer (two years before I was born), my maternal grandmother was angry at the higher power for taking him away from her. To this end, she went to the priest and declared that she would never go to church again. It was her call and her decision, but my maternal grandmother is unfortunately one of the many who probably never will be pleased with the higher power again.
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But being angry with the higher power is something that is often a choice we all have to make. As a neurodiverse individual, I can often get emotional with events and situations that are beyond my control. I often look for a scapegoat or someone to blame and sometimes, I direct my anger to the higher power asking them why they would put me in such a situation?
Maybe I deserved it, maybe I didn’t deserve being treated in such a manner.
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The fact is that there is nothing that will bring David or anyone else taken away from this earth back. The important thing is to move on with our lives and carry on with our lives too by honoring someone’s legacy. I got to tell you that I’ve already had to carry on several legacies and while it may seem like a burden, it has helped me move on with my life.
Now I need to carry on my younger brother figure’s legacy in the autism/neurodiversity community and while it may take time, the higher power and I will hopefully be on better terms again. But for now, it will take small steps to reach that common ground.
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Catch you all later!!
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